From the Bottom of the Bucket

Where there is no Gardener, there is no Garden

I have written in the past about the Japanese garden in my backyard.  We call it The Sanctuary.  It is over thirty years old now and has come to be my favorite place on Earth.  Over the years, it has been cared for by a succession of younger friends, but none of them with the attention of Rodney, our current gardener.  He has been a friend for many years and we are humbled by his contribution.  He teaches by example and his innovative thinking is only matched by his love of plants.

It has been said that a garden is a place where Nature and Man come together to contemplate one another.  That is certainly true in The Sanctuary.  As my wife and I are besieged with the decay that comes with aging, the garden is a constant reminder of the Cycle of Life.  The animal life that visits prompts you to remember that our world is populated with many species and that Nature cares little for the ego of Man. The waterfalls provide a constant backdrop of soothing sound to spirit away the noise of Life.

But none of this would be possible without Rodney’s efforts. For there is a difference between Natural and Wild.  It is inspiring to watch the garden blossom under his care.  It is a partnership in every sense as they need each other.  How many times are we guilty of thinking the world revolves around our exclusive efforts - that our opinion is Truth and our points of view are exclusively accurate?

We all need a place where we can put things in perspective and we need to visit it often. We also need a Rodney to groom this Retreat for renewing Energy. Without them, our Spirits wither.  Those of you that have these precious gifts, be thankful.  If you don’t , make the effort to get them.  It will be worth it.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

The G4 Letters

(Editor’s Note: I am upgrading my format to reflect a different take on my observations.  This month, our first great grandchild (generation four, or G4), Oliver, came into our lives. One of my muses (thank you Chris) suggested that I write an open letter to this young lad.  It is my intention to have him read it in the future and perhaps write me back (although the postage may be prohibitive!)

 

Dear Oliver,

I met you last night at my wife’s birthday party. I held you in my arms and wondered what dreams were filling your thoughts.  I guess you have thoughts, but who knows.  Don ‘t worry they will come soon enough.  Your memory is a clean slate, so you won’t be troubled by

regrets. You’re not bothered by worries about politics or wars. Your budget is balanced.  Your health is perfect.  Most of all, it appears that you are blissfully unaware of your state. Too bad, it sounds like heaven.

My memory is filled with images of your Grand Ma and Mommy when they were your age.  It makes me humble to witness it all over again.  We call that The Cycle of Life. You are our newest circle and what roads will you roll down?   I can only hope to support your trip

When I grow down I want to be just like you. Keep it simple.  Believe it or not, most of our imperfections are our own doing.  Remnants from the journey called life, a trial-and-error experience that we all have. Each step of that experience is chock full of lessons and go figure, we actually learn some of them.

The gods have blessed you to be born free and loved.  With a doting family, you have a head start.  It won’t be long before you begin your conscious experience and all the baggage that comes with it.  So, in the meantime, enjoy your crying and pooping. For now, leave the tough stuff to Mom and Dad.  After all, that’s what they did when they started out on their tour !

 

Yours In Love

 Pappy

     

Until next time, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

            Glory Days

“Glory days, well they’ll just pass you by”  - Bruce Springsteen

I have this theme that runs through my dreams.  One of the meds I am on for Parkinson’s has the side effect of intense dreams.  The common theme is a rewrite of past memories to a new standard of satisfaction.  I am sure that these random memories have been edited to elevate my actions to heroic proportions.  While the emotional impact of these dreams is satisfying it often leaves me with the thought - what happened to dreams of the future?

One of the challenges of aging is dealing with the realization that your future is shrinking.  We have always been encouraged to “dream of a better future”, but that task has been more difficult as I watch friends come to the end of their lives, leaving me to contemplate the  proximity of my own mortality.  While the richness of possibility is still present, the duration of potential seems to be diminishing.

It takes a concerted effort not to succumb to the trap of living in the past.   As your memory re-writes these experiences to suit its ego, the future seems to be less inviting.  He “good old days” are calling us to a “simpler” time when reality conformed to our particular view of how things should be.   In our heart we know that this is fantasy, but it is so much easier that living in the chaos called the Present.

There is hope though. The Present is a classroom for the Future.  As we attend to the Activities of daily living, we can harvest the optimism of others, using it to fertilize our own dreams, helping them to exceed our memories. Past recollections have their place, but not as a substitute for today’s experiences.. .

As we approach the season of hopefulness, let’s take some time to honor our Past, while looking to something more in the Future, by being in the Present

Happy holidays to all !

Until next time, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

            The Duke and Duchess of the Deck

“All hands on deck”  - Naval Command

As we continue our journeys to find our “new normal”, I am struck how many lessons are awaiting us as we rediscover our existence. Projects that focus on defining what our standards will be going forward. For us, these exercises included replacing our deck with a newer version. One that was defined by our current expectations on how we will use it.   After a year if isolation, we were more than ready to expand our living space to include an outdoor venue where we could enjoy our Japanese garden and soak up Mother Nature’s Energy.

We talked about how our Activities might be adjusted to include entertaining guests, with the option of preparing meals cooked outdoors.  We also wanted to have a permeant fireplace that would be gas operated so we could form a Fire Circle at a moment’s notice.

My wife is a big fan of cooking shows and I wanted her to take what she learned over the past year and reenergize this area of our home. She did just that, selecting an artisan to add this new interpterion to an old concept. She bought deck furniture, a grill and supervised the entire process. The finished product has us outdoors every time Mother Nature offers a chance.  As one is seduced by the sound of waterfalls, birds and wind chimes, you can feel the Energy entering your soul.

Each time I sit out there, I am struck by the thought that it is important to reinvent yourself.  It is thru this Activity we gain fresh perspective to our Journey. We gain confidence in our visions by bringing them from our mind to reality, reaffirming the possibility of a positive future  After a year of glumness, it is a joy to reclaim the high ground!

So, think about your old normal as you remodel it.  Then refurbish your new normal to reflect the past and embrace the future

 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

            “Come Out, Come Out”…Where Ever You Are……”

Day after day
Alone on a hill
The man with the foolish grin
Is keeping perfectly still…….The Beatles

Oh the subtle seduction of routine!  Our minds convince us that the “easier” path is the one of least resistance and in the name of efficiency we fall into a state where everything is familiar and we are rarely surprised.  Quarantine was the ultimate breeding ground for such thinking.  Since we were restricted to our own little space, populated with few (if any) people. It took a special effort to “liven” things up.  Especially for a whole year!

In his book, 12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson describes the concept of Order and Chaos, also known as the Yin and the Yang.  It is the idea that t hings have a dual nature and life is a curved line that represents having attained a balance between these two forces. 

  

What makes this idea different is that both powers are necessary.  It is interesting that the Sign of the Tao (pictured to the right) also  contains a small circle of the opposite force in the center of each segment.   The thought that one must have both forces is somewhat revolutionary. Our culture still thinks that the “bad” needs to be eliminated, so the “good” can be expanded.

During this past year, the siren song of habit provided some structure to life. Still, we escaped from the stimulation that comes from the chaos of life.  By avoiding the uncomfortable, we are lulled into a sense that our way of seeing life is the way of seeing life.  With no one to challenge that line of thinking, we became more and more convinced of that “fact.”

What I am saying is I feel this is unhealthy. Now that isolation is melting away, I encourage you to seek out some discomfort in the name of growing.  After all, discomfort is only a life sign that you are about to have a learning opportunity present itself.  Try it you might like it!  Finally, have patience with people.  Some of us are regaining our conversation skills and haven’t had a face to face discussion in quite sometime.

 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

“It’s just a shot away”- The Rolling Stones

Spring has Sprung….

Things are coming alive on my neighborhood.  I was struck how appropriate this is, given that I am emerging from a year long sabbatical from the outside.  The future seems brighter.  Over this pause, I took to taking walks (some one-hundred and fifty miles) in our neighborhood. The past few weeks the plants are spring to life. It’s nature’s way of reminding us that life goes on, so get with the program!

In Kentucky, spring also means its Derby time.  This year we will see a modified version of The Kentucky Derby festival, which runs for two weeks beginning with Thunder over Louisville, a gigantic air show fireworks extravaganza which can draw more than a half a million spectators.  This year (Covid), it was moved from its traditional venue, to three smaller sites around the area.  We watched from our front porch. An unexpected treat and a reminder of the "new normal".

With all this life springing (pun intended) up in front of us, it is hard not to see the metaphor. After getting their vaccines, people are venturing out a bit more, reconnecting to the outside world. The gaiety of the Derby, just reminds us that life is an experience of ups and downs. A horse race that only is run once.  This year, I remind each of you to sip your julep slowly, savoring its sweetness.  While you are at it, stop and smell the roses, for these experiences are fragile and can be gone in a moment, a memory that can become a dream.

As we approach the end of this past year’s woes, this is a time to ponder the lessons we have learned and the challenges we will face.  I know, for me, these lessons will involve patience, determination, and acceptance.  Oh yes, and The Circle of Life…

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment

Bob

 

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

“It’s just a shot away”- The Rolling Stones

Reentry

I just this morning took my second COVID-19 vaccine.  This marks the beginning of the end of an ordeal that has lasted exactly three hundred and fifty-one days.  I know this because I started a diary on March 16^th 2020, the first day of pure social isolation.  Except for three visits to my neighborhood bar last summer and two camp outs, I have not been in contact with the outside world. 

As I prepare to reenter the world, I wonder how I have changed because of this experience.  It is also interesting to ponder how the world itself has changed.  How will the experience of the past year alter my behavior? My relationships? What about my Activities? Will I try to go back to where I was last year? Is that even possible?

What if you were offered a year sabbatical with complete control over how you spend your time?  That’s how I chose to frame my experience.  For me, the challenge has been to find the appropriate level of Activities to stay in rhythm with The Flow.  Each year that we live alters our capacity and adjustments have to be made.  Not too much, not too little. Take a look at your past year’s actions, they may contain lessons about what you really value

One thing is for sure, I relish the idea of returning to socializing (in person).  The nurse who gave me my shot said she can’t wait to get out, listen to some live music …and dance! I suspect that each of us has a list of things we will do as soon as we get our lives back.  The absence of those things has made defining them easier.

One final comment.   Rainy days do come.  It is more than a cliché that those who prepare for them will stand a better chance of surviving them. Make saving for one a part of your “new normal”

 

SPECIAL NOTE: This month’s blog is dedicated to my Mother who was one of the 500,000 people who lost their lives to COVID-19.

 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment

Bob