From
the Bottom of the Bucket
Living
with Loss
“The Future ain’t what it
used to be” – Yogi Berra
First, I don’t
have cancer!!!
For those of
you of you that read last month’s post, you will remember I was lamenting a
string of health incidents, one of which was a cancer screening necessary
because of some unusual test scores. I
passed the screening with flying colors.
But the real
point of this post is what I learned in the two months while I awaited the
procedure and what I learned or affirmed about Living in the Bucket. I won’t repeat the musings I was having (if
you want to read them go to January’s post Walking the Talk). What I really want to share is my
perspective after having been through those long sixty days.
First, we all
must learn to cope with loss, both big and small. The simple truth it is a fact
of life, you will lose health,
things, people, etc. over your lifetime, some big, some small. In most cases,
you will have little control over these events.
For me, the thought of losing some of my most treasured activities was emotionally
overwhelming. So much so that, for a while, I was dejected.
The experts
tell us that humans feel the pain of loss three times more than the euphoria of
gain. My years of Financial Life Coaching
confirmed that in regards to money. I
think it is true in most areas of life.
In fact, the fear of loss is
almost as powerful.
However, just
as with most things in life, there is a veiled opportunity inside those negative
mindsets. We all have a deeper ability to cope than we realize. The first step is to allow your resources to
get though the haze of gloom. My first
one was the outpouring of support from one of my most treasured assets, my
friends. Friendship is something you
earn through your actions, not by words.
If you don’t invest some of your resources to building your base of
friends, when you need to access this
valuable source of Vigor, it simply will not be there.
Next, affirm
your value system. You spent (or should
have) a great deal of your resources building your views, stick with them, especially
when they are tested. Finally, look for
the affirmative point buried in your loss, I assure you there is one, but
digging for it will take effort. As a
rock climber once told me “The hard part of moving upwards is not grabbing the
higher hold, but letting go of the lower one that is firmly in your grasp.” Once you find that “higher” point, adjust and
keep moving up. It’s the journey not the
route.
Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.
Bob
