From the Bottom of the Bucket

Rambling thru the Realms

Being a Hawk or a Heron

As many of you know, my wife and I have created and cultivated a oriental garden at our home.  This garden just turned twenty five years old and it is a gathering place for all sorts of wildlife from the  surrounding area.

 

One of the features, other than the waterfall, is the collection of koi fish that reside in the pond.  Their colorful features as well their rapid movement are eye catchers for all observers.

 

 

This past weekend we had two visitors that showed a special interest in our garden.  The first one chose to observe from the fence.  The hawk kept watch on every movement, but treated the fish as just another item of interest.

 

 

The second one was only interested in the fish.  Over the years, the blue heron have killed several of our koi, they are instinctual fisher/hunters and they waste no time in stalking their prey.  Since fish are mostly what they eat, our pond is a potential buffet for any hungry heron that chooses to visit our urban sanctuary.





 





 What does this have to do with life planning?  As you might be aware, The System (see back issues link at the bottom of the blog) divides our Activities into Realms.



One of the main concepts is that we are at our strongest when we maintain a good balance between the Realms, which I have labeled : Private ; Professional; and Personal.  There are two ways that you can approach this.  First, The Hawk approach, which is to position yourself for the best view of all options, and passively wait for an opportunity for an associated Activity to present itself, then "swoop" down and engage. The second is the Heron approach, which is to focus exclusively on one Realm and stalk the opportunites till you are engaged, then fly off to the next Realm and repeat.

The point is that both approaches work.  Sometimes random interaction provides some of the "good stuff" of life.  Other times, you must plan out your doings to bolster a Realm that you have let slide a bit too long.

We all are tenders of our life gardens.  But, just as with real gardens, we must nurture (with purpose) that sacred space with care and vigilance.  Even when life events pull you out of balance we need Hawks and Herons to help us get back to equilibrium.  



 Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

“You Are Only One Phone Call Away……”

Even though I did not join social media to share personal social activities (I do enjoy other people’s shares) I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of my wife and her outfit for our first Derby event “Derby Decadence” a Storytellers Project sponsored by USA Today, that I shared a post on Tuesday evening as we prepared to kick off the Kentucky Derby Festival 2017.  It is a two week period where my city, Louisville stops everything and indulges itself in so many different forms (I’s now the second largest festival in the USA).

This one promised to be a treat as it featured five speakers who would share their Derby story in a manner that the Project describes “true, first person stories from neighbors and notables. We believe that storytelling and journalism reflect a community, while developing empathy in that community”

 

It was also a thrill because I personally knew three of the five speakers.  One of those speakers, James Long, told his story of being a trailblazer for black jockeys in the thoroughbred industry.  He continually expressed his gratitude for the opportunities that had been provided and the privilege he had as a vanguard in the emergence of a whole new breed of black jockeys.

Imagine the shock I felt when I opened this morning’s newspaper and found that Mr. Long had been killed, that very night, in a car crash, while returning home from his speech.

 

I can’t help but wonder how he would have felt if he knew he was entering his last twenty four hours of time on earth.   Would his talk been different?  I can tell you my feeling is no.  He came across as a man who was a peace with himself and was filled with appreciation for the life he had lived and the legacy he was already leaving.   He embodied the spirit of “Living in the Bucket”!

I did not know Mr. Long, but his sad departure only served to remind me that we must all remind ourselves daily that we are only one phone call (or car crash) away from the end of our story as we know it.  Since, none of us can foretell when such an event will occur, the only way to deal with it is to live each day as though it were your last, because one day it will be.

I feel Mr. Long’s tribe would be proud of his last twenty- four hours with us.   All we can do is mourn his loss and aspire to live the way he did.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “May You Live in Interesting Times"  - A Chinese Proverb

Over the past quarter I have been reading two books that share an interesting combination of perspectives on our current state of affairs.  I would like to share a few observations.

The first one, Thank You for Being Late by Thomas Friedman, describes how the rapid acceleration of technology is overwhelming human being's ability to adapt.  He points out numerous examples of the anxiety that is becoming prevalent as tech tools and the Internet spawn endless innovations.  He points to 2007 as the pivotal year, that being the year the iPhone was introduced and web access became completely and globally available.  When he wrote the book The World id Flat in 2011 (about the impact of the Internet), there was no mention of Google, Facebook, Instagram, etc (because they weren't around)- and that was just SIX years ago!  He makes a case for the acceleration of Moore's Law (Google it), which is no surprise, but what he also does which is of great interest, is tie this phenomenon to global geopolitical unrest and climate change.  Connections that I would not have thought of.

That leads me to the second book, How the Hell Did This Happen? by P.J. O'Rourke.  This book offers a more humorous view of the state of world politics in general, and in America in particular.  God knows it seems like we could use some wit at the moment.  He concludes with a chapter on Populism, the spin name given to the disruption on the traditional structures of society and the rebellion against the "Elite Order" (his term) in all institutions.  He (like Friedman) makes a connection between this movement and the Internet, or to quote him directly:  

"And whose bright idea was it to make sure that every idiot in the world is in communication with every other idiot?"

Friedman sees this movement as a reaction to the anxiety and sense of helplessness that is the direct result of humans inability to keep up with change that the technology is driving, 

 It is not my goal to join in the conversation (can we call it that?) of these issues, I will leave that to the more sophisticated people.  What I want to do is stress the importance of weathering these changes by affirming your commitment to Balance and Integrity.  You have no choice but to deal with these issues, but the key to a fulfilling journey is how you do so.

If you use something like the Roles & Activity model, your stability is much more likely to guide you as you adapt to the change that is always present.  If you have spent some time defining who you are, what you stand for, and how you will allocate your resources, you are much more likely to participate in a dialogue with your life.  As I have often said, become the subject not the object of the sentence of your life.

It is the end of the 1st quarter, why not take a half day and review your circumstance?  If you would like, use the forms on this blog for structure.  The confidence you regain as you affirm your role in choosing your path will serve as a strong foundation to operate from.


Until next month, I wish you fulfillment

Bob

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Blinded by the Light”

I have not addressed any financial observations in this blog (so far), because I have tried to help people focus on the underlying behavioral motivators that influence decision making in general, but around financial matters specifically.  A sound foundation in this area will provide a solid defense during turbulent times, which are a part of the cyclical nature of life.

But alas, we humans have short memories and strong emotions.  I was in the advisory business in 1987, when the stock market dropped 22% in one  day !!

 

 I was also advising clients in 2002 when the market returned -22% and 2008 where the return was -37%.  These similar crashes brought fear and anxiety to everyone. I witnessed firsthand, how normally thoughtful people, were overcome  with apprehension and did impulsive things that were not supportive of their life plans.

We are now entering the eighth year of the current bull market, which has seen U.S. equity indexes double.  It is so easy to get “blinded by the light” of buoyancy during these “good” times. Your account statements showing ever growing balances and the fear emotions fade from your memory.  For those of us in the advisory business, these times represent a difficult challenge.  We have to remind our clients that there will be another market downturn. and that large market rallies are mathematically the same as market downturns, both being extremes.

The problem is that people don’t experience the emotions in a bull market the way they do in a bear market.  Behavioral experts have studied this phenomenon and found that people feel the pain of loss three times as much as the joy of gain!  In short, loss avoidance is a much more powerful motivator.  In a strong bull market (like the one we are in now), people get their account statements (which are always up) and mentally assume that money is “theirs” and any decrease is processed as a loss.  This, of course, is flawed thinking, as your gain or loss can only be calculated when you sell the asset.

Now we have a set of warning signs that the blissful investor is not paying attention to.  I am not going to list those (since that would take up another entire post), but suffice it to say that they are pointing to a cyclical downturn.  Are you emotionally prepared?  If you have not yet diversified your Vigor resources, perhaps now is the time to do so.  Being well rounded helps you keep things in perspective, a strong antidote for impulsive reactions to negative events.  The balanced approach that I am proposing helps you keep your course, even when the stormy conditions try to alter your direction.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Re-Energeering”

Just because one is committed to living his or her life to the goal of being the best possible person they aspire to doesn’t mean that they won’t experience challenges along the journey.  After all, we are human and that existence involves emotions and error.  Discipline and Commitment are helpful but even the most seasoned devotee experiences times of sadness and disappointment.  What are some of the techniques that we can call upon to get back “in the zone”?

Symbiosis is a word that is used to describe the mutual arrangement between two organisms that work in harmony by complementing each other’s needs.  The one that always stands out to me is the relationship between trees and humans.  Trees produce a great deal of the oxygen we need by using the waste (carbon dioxide) from our respiration.  This is one of the many examples in Nature where this phenomenon occurs.  This basic principle is taking something that is unwanted and having it absorbed as a Resource for something positive. What if we could learn this skill?  What if we could fashion negative Energy into the building blocks to strengthen our Journey to our transient truth? 

There is a concept called reverse engineering. This process disassembles an item to see how it was assembled --- while noting possible improvement options.  It occurred to me that the same process could work in our daily lives.  We could learn how to take negative ENERGY and, by REVERSE ENGINEERING, we could turn it into something positive.  I am calling this process:  “RE-ENERGEERING”!   A good example of this is using the energy of Anger to form the basis for Perseverance. We have grown accustomed to limiting the measuring of our resources to those things we consider “positive”.  What would be our possibility if we expanded that list to include “negative” experiences?

Tony Robbins refers to this process of “reframing”.  His central theme is that one should consider an adverse experience with the question: “There must be a reason that this has happened to me….what is the lesson I am supposed to learn?”  The answers to that question provide the raw material to RE-ENERGEER the bad experience to the foundational movement back to your desired course.

My personal experience is best illustrated with my diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease.  That diagnosis provided the largest single positive movement in my life.  It took some time for me to realize it but, after pondering it for some time, it was obvious the sense of fulfillment had increased in my life.

The next time you are tempted to feel down about something try Tony’s little exercise.  Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have (and trying to get it), but rather what opportunities does your perceived shortage offer?

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Patience Grasshopper”

One of my favorite television shows when I was a young man was “Kung Fu”  starring David Carradine,has Kwai Chang Kane, a Shaolin monk, whose many experiences always counseled patience.  Tis characteristic was continually reinforced in Kane’s early training by his teacher, Master Po.  Each week, Kane would be confronted with a dilemma, which challenged his nonviolent training with a circumstance that seemed to call for quick, if sometimes, violent action.  In thinking back about the influence that had on me, I feel it was that show that led me to my practice of Tai Chi. Which I still use to train myself to slow down.

As I have crossed The Path of Life, one of the lessons I have learned is to make mistakes slowly.  I also have learned to give more attention to the way I feel than I used to.  In today’s rational world, we are all prone to consider “only the facts”.  As you gain experience, you realize “facts” are highly subjective and influenced by personal biases.  As Dr. Carl Hammerschlag says “The heart knows things the mind never thought of”.

So why is it that we are in such a hurry?  What is driving this mania towards The Future?  Materialism is rampant in America and the pursuit of Happiness is not getting any easier.  Do we really need all the “stuff” we have?   Should we ignore what is in front of us now, for the possibility of what might be in the future?

 

Master Po (who was blind-get it?), would often counsel Kane to have patience and The Way would become clear. A tough lesson for type “A”s, who always seem to equate action with accomplishment.  The point is, if you stop to consider how you are managing your resources, the chances for a successful outcome may improve.

The New Year is upon us.  Traditionally this is the time that we pause to reflect on what we have achieved and how we will allocate our resources for the next year. Why not take some time out to consider the big picture, before running head first into your future?

 I would again invite you to visit the exercises at the bottom of this blog (The System) as a structured approach to considering these issues.   If you do so with Patience, perhaps your way will become clearer!

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

It Starts with “No”

I always cringe when someone predicates a remark with the phrase “I have to……”  It is as though they see themselves as some type of automaton, preprogrammed for behavior over which they have no control.

What’s worse is that our culture seems to have turned such attitude into a competition, where one person tries to “out busy” the other!  Many times I have witnessed conversations where the participants recite a litany of chores and duties that must be completed before the day is done.

If you have reviewed any of The System (see below), then you know I am an advocate of time management.  This is because no one can really calculate how much time on this earth they have left.  We can delude ourselves with the comfortable view that our lives are a linear experience.  Real life seems not to conform to such perceptions. Each day’s events present twists and turns from what we expected and a reaction is called for.

In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl says that the only true freedom that a human has is the instant between stimulus and response.  As he recounts his experiences in a German concentration camp, he explains that one always has a choice in response to a stimulus.  In some cases (as Frankle’s) the choice could have dire consequences (like execution), but still the response was a made choice.

How much more empowering would it be to change the phrase “I have to….” to the phrase “I choose to”? By reinforcing your ability to choose, you take full responsibility for your actions, or as Steven Covey says you are response-able.

It is easier than you think to make consistent choices if you have prioritized your Activities and Roles. The stimulus either supports them or it doesn’t.  If it does, apply your resources to it.  If it doesn’t, take a moment to consider if your Goals need adjusting, if not, then just say “no”!

I am amazed at how this exercise has simplified my life.  First, by narrowing the scope of my activities, I have more resources to do a better job of the ones that remain.  My favorite benefit is I have the time to arrive at my activities fifteen minutes early, which allows me to focus on being present.  Many people never have this experience because they are always behind schedule, or “on their way” to something else.  I can tell you it is a game changer.

Second, by avoiding many “Vigor depletion” actions, I am reaffirming my course and direction, which gives me more confidence. It is a bit uncomfortable at first, but with practice and effort you can make these two simple adjustments habits. For now, I choose to say no to mediocrity.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob