From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “The Unplanned Variable

”Just When you think you’ve got it down……” – Pat Benatar - Promises in the Dark

“We didn’t start the Fire, It’s been always burning since the world’s been turning….” Billy Joel – We Didn’t start the Fire

In my long career of Financial Life Coaching, I was able to see, first hand, what role human emotions play in supporting or undermining the process of making decisions.  The underlying cornerstone to Financial Life Planning is to help people discover thier conscious or unconscious emotion predispositions towards selecting a solution to the choices available ….then remind them of that process when emotions began to cloud judgment.

Even older, experienced planners recognize that the “best” solution still has a 20% “unknown” to it .  No matter how much thought goes into a solution, there are assumptions that will vary the plan.

 

How does one account in your future plans for things like the recent hurricanes?  The devastation brought on in Texas, Florida, and Peurto Rico, regardless of insurance adjustments, will alter people’s lives forever.

 

Politics aside, the world seems more at risk for disaster (man made or otherwise) than ever before.  If you let it, concentrating on these issues can truly depress you to the point of abandoning any future planning you have done.   How does one plan for global political unrest that could destroy the planet?  What about dealing with the uneasy feeling that we have “been here before”.

But we forget that pessimism is a choice and that through an effort to refocus on the positive (no matter how hard it is to find), one can return to the core foundation of his or her guiding goals. By doing so, you strengthen your focus and energy, thus improving your ability to cope and make the adjustments to your planned journey.

My point is that no one can, with 100% certainty, plan for the future.  We must expect an "unplanned" variable that will cause an adjustment to have to be made and if you have been living your life "In the Bucket" you will have the confidence and passion to execute that adjustment, returning to your core values and direction.

To coin an old phrase " Expect the unexpected" or leave a margin for the errors that are bound to occur.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          Rejuvenation

My wife and I just completed a sixteen day, grand tour of the Pacific Northwest.   Starting in Colorado, and then moving on to Oregon and Washington State.  In each of these states we built the trip around visiting friends from our “former” life in business.

 

Traveling is one of the best ways to build your Vigor. I think this is because a change of scenery forces you away from your customary points of reference and compels you to react to an unfamiliar orientation.   This, in turn,  places more emphasis on your internal intuition than you normally use.  This switch in attention alone can expose some outdated reference point that you (out of habit) continue to use in your daily life.  We all need to “shake things up” in order to affirm the validity of these instinctual references, which we use in familiar circumstances almost without thinking.

Take restaurants. At home, we all have our favorites, but away, the world is filled only with possibilities (like frozen beer in Portland !).  What about relationships?  In our daily lives, we are familiar with the patterns of interaction with those around us.  Drop yourself  into a crowd of new people and every conversation is ripe with new thinking and perspective.  This is especially true of friends who we don't see often.  We stayed with three different friends and that allowed  for  extended conversations in which I learned about new music, books, and technologies that will change how I spend the rest of the year.

In some places, the vistas alone are enough to invoke a sense of awe and the realization that your home surroundings represent just a small part of the world we live in.  Crater Lake National Park (one of our stops) took our breaths away on our first day hike. 

 

 

 There is also the ever changing show Mother Earth puts on (what about the solar eclipse? Day into night into day, in  twelve minutes !)  The second day at the national park was clouded (literally) by smoke from two “uncontrolled” forest fires that threatened to close down the park.

smoke not clouds!

What does this have to do with Living in the Bucket?  I have discussed Vigor Activities in the past.  In order to assure a robust effort in each of your Roles, you must plan undertakings that are rich with the potential for rejuvenation of your excitement and awe.  Be wary of getting into a "comfort zone" where all is familiar and easy.  This state is a trap which dulls your senses and steals your creative potential.

Take some risks, try something new (even if it feels uncomfortable) and build your Vigor in a purposeful fashion.  Then you will find what is necessary to bring your best game to the challenge of meeting the full potential of your Roles.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Role Gravity”

One of the central themes of this blog has been that if you allot your resources between the Roles you play in your life; it will lead to a balanced outcome and increase the possibility that your sense of fulfillment will heighten

But life is not always equal in its demands on your resources.  As much as we try to allocate, in a purposeful manner, the resources we have available, there are times when certain Roles require more attention than normal.   This has two effects.  First it diminished the Vigor Activities which provide the necessary fuel to fulfill your Roles and second it takes away time from the Activities associated with the other Roles. In real life, that is just a fact.  So how do you achieve balance when life pulls you out of balance?

The first step is to realize you are out of balance.  Your body will probably tell you this long before your mind notices something is amiss. That is one reason why exercise is so important; it adds strength to your body’s endurance.  Another (more analytical) way is to simply refer to your Activity Goal sheet (see below) and note any deficiencies.  The most common circumstance is when life presents you with an acute situation that must have your full attention.  In this case you must forgo Balance for a while and center yourself in the issue at hand.

One of the helpful resources at times such as these is Relationships.  Having someone that you can talk to is a tremendous help.  If you have not invested the time and energy to build a solid, intimate relationship with such people, you are going to feel the cost of that at times like these.   Stephen Covey calls these resources The Emotional Bank Account and like a real bank account, you must make deposits in order to have the ability to make withdrawals. The time for doing that is before you need to call on that resource. Hopefully you are allotting some of your Energy in building this valuable resource.

It is also meaningful to try to devote some time, no matter how small, to your other Roles so you don’t become disconnected from them.   During these moments you may find an idea that helps solve the issue at hand.  If you are working hard at being a son or daughter, try spending a bit of time as a sibling or a spouse.

Above all, you must seek the path back to the center of Balance.  It may take longer than you would like, but your course my always be heading in that direction.  This will increase your Vigor and build your confidence.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “ True Wealth”

I just finished watching the HBO production The Wizard of Lies, Barry Levinson's movie on Benrie Madoff, played by Robert DeNiro.  It is a well done movie that raises many questions on how such a deceit could have happened and most importantly, the devastation that it left on many innocent people (including his family).

 

The movie does not focus on the details of his well publicized scam, but instead on exploring the complex personality that masterminded it. Based on author Diana Henriques book of the same name, the film focuses "on the people that were closest to Madoff as they struggle to truthfully answer questions that they have no solid answers."- HBO Films

 

The most disturbing part is how the film deals with the question of motivation.  When 

billions of dollars are at stake, can one really use greed as an excuse? After all, you can only spend so much money in one lifetime.  Can financial wealth assure a solid family, good friendships and health?   How much is enough and when does one forgo the sacrifices necessary to accumulate such wealth?  Or is the pursuit of that wealth just an excuse for the lack of effort in the accumulation of the other dimensions of wealth?

Take the act of socialization.  It takes a great deal of resources to build relationships of the depth necessary to be called intimate.  A speaker recently said " You are the direct reflection of the top five people you spend time with ".  Pondering that, I had a tough time naming my five people.  Yet, we all need connections to prosper.   How purposeful are you in focusing resources  on this valuable dimension of wealth?  Your plan should have reminders to let you know when you are not meeting your Activity objectives in building your support network. 

As Robert Margetic says in his wonderful book, How to survive the Coming Retirement Storm: A Five-Step Process for Success in Volatile Times. "Life's ongoing challenge is to avoid stagnation. Interaction with others adds texture and meaning to the fabric of life.  Being around good people offsets some of the bad things in life."  Finding those "good people" and nurturing those relationships is hard work and must be constantly and purposely attended to. 

What about the process of personal evolution?  Letting go of the old and embracing the new.  This also is an uncomfortable process. Yet the new is where your future lives and to keep your options  open is an exercise in flexibility   Engaging the world as it is going to be is a much more productive exercise than reinforcing the way it used to be.

One can't help but wonder if Mr. Madoff had made such "investments"  could he have avoided the dark path he eventually went down, dragging all those close to him along.  While you may not be dealing with billions, the process is the same and the  core  concept is, as always, Balance.  

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

From the Bottom of the Bucket

Rambling thru the Realms

Being a Hawk or a Heron

As many of you know, my wife and I have created and cultivated a oriental garden at our home.  This garden just turned twenty five years old and it is a gathering place for all sorts of wildlife from the  surrounding area.

 

One of the features, other than the waterfall, is the collection of koi fish that reside in the pond.  Their colorful features as well their rapid movement are eye catchers for all observers.

 

 

This past weekend we had two visitors that showed a special interest in our garden.  The first one chose to observe from the fence.  The hawk kept watch on every movement, but treated the fish as just another item of interest.

 

 

The second one was only interested in the fish.  Over the years, the blue heron have killed several of our koi, they are instinctual fisher/hunters and they waste no time in stalking their prey.  Since fish are mostly what they eat, our pond is a potential buffet for any hungry heron that chooses to visit our urban sanctuary.





 





 What does this have to do with life planning?  As you might be aware, The System (see back issues link at the bottom of the blog) divides our Activities into Realms.



One of the main concepts is that we are at our strongest when we maintain a good balance between the Realms, which I have labeled : Private ; Professional; and Personal.  There are two ways that you can approach this.  First, The Hawk approach, which is to position yourself for the best view of all options, and passively wait for an opportunity for an associated Activity to present itself, then "swoop" down and engage. The second is the Heron approach, which is to focus exclusively on one Realm and stalk the opportunites till you are engaged, then fly off to the next Realm and repeat.

The point is that both approaches work.  Sometimes random interaction provides some of the "good stuff" of life.  Other times, you must plan out your doings to bolster a Realm that you have let slide a bit too long.

We all are tenders of our life gardens.  But, just as with real gardens, we must nurture (with purpose) that sacred space with care and vigilance.  Even when life events pull you out of balance we need Hawks and Herons to help us get back to equilibrium.  



 Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

“You Are Only One Phone Call Away……”

Even though I did not join social media to share personal social activities (I do enjoy other people’s shares) I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of my wife and her outfit for our first Derby event “Derby Decadence” a Storytellers Project sponsored by USA Today, that I shared a post on Tuesday evening as we prepared to kick off the Kentucky Derby Festival 2017.  It is a two week period where my city, Louisville stops everything and indulges itself in so many different forms (I’s now the second largest festival in the USA).

This one promised to be a treat as it featured five speakers who would share their Derby story in a manner that the Project describes “true, first person stories from neighbors and notables. We believe that storytelling and journalism reflect a community, while developing empathy in that community”

 

It was also a thrill because I personally knew three of the five speakers.  One of those speakers, James Long, told his story of being a trailblazer for black jockeys in the thoroughbred industry.  He continually expressed his gratitude for the opportunities that had been provided and the privilege he had as a vanguard in the emergence of a whole new breed of black jockeys.

Imagine the shock I felt when I opened this morning’s newspaper and found that Mr. Long had been killed, that very night, in a car crash, while returning home from his speech.

 

I can’t help but wonder how he would have felt if he knew he was entering his last twenty four hours of time on earth.   Would his talk been different?  I can tell you my feeling is no.  He came across as a man who was a peace with himself and was filled with appreciation for the life he had lived and the legacy he was already leaving.   He embodied the spirit of “Living in the Bucket”!

I did not know Mr. Long, but his sad departure only served to remind me that we must all remind ourselves daily that we are only one phone call (or car crash) away from the end of our story as we know it.  Since, none of us can foretell when such an event will occur, the only way to deal with it is to live each day as though it were your last, because one day it will be.

I feel Mr. Long’s tribe would be proud of his last twenty- four hours with us.   All we can do is mourn his loss and aspire to live the way he did.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “May You Live in Interesting Times"  - A Chinese Proverb

Over the past quarter I have been reading two books that share an interesting combination of perspectives on our current state of affairs.  I would like to share a few observations.

The first one, Thank You for Being Late by Thomas Friedman, describes how the rapid acceleration of technology is overwhelming human being's ability to adapt.  He points out numerous examples of the anxiety that is becoming prevalent as tech tools and the Internet spawn endless innovations.  He points to 2007 as the pivotal year, that being the year the iPhone was introduced and web access became completely and globally available.  When he wrote the book The World id Flat in 2011 (about the impact of the Internet), there was no mention of Google, Facebook, Instagram, etc (because they weren't around)- and that was just SIX years ago!  He makes a case for the acceleration of Moore's Law (Google it), which is no surprise, but what he also does which is of great interest, is tie this phenomenon to global geopolitical unrest and climate change.  Connections that I would not have thought of.

That leads me to the second book, How the Hell Did This Happen? by P.J. O'Rourke.  This book offers a more humorous view of the state of world politics in general, and in America in particular.  God knows it seems like we could use some wit at the moment.  He concludes with a chapter on Populism, the spin name given to the disruption on the traditional structures of society and the rebellion against the "Elite Order" (his term) in all institutions.  He (like Friedman) makes a connection between this movement and the Internet, or to quote him directly:  

"And whose bright idea was it to make sure that every idiot in the world is in communication with every other idiot?"

Friedman sees this movement as a reaction to the anxiety and sense of helplessness that is the direct result of humans inability to keep up with change that the technology is driving, 

 It is not my goal to join in the conversation (can we call it that?) of these issues, I will leave that to the more sophisticated people.  What I want to do is stress the importance of weathering these changes by affirming your commitment to Balance and Integrity.  You have no choice but to deal with these issues, but the key to a fulfilling journey is how you do so.

If you use something like the Roles & Activity model, your stability is much more likely to guide you as you adapt to the change that is always present.  If you have spent some time defining who you are, what you stand for, and how you will allocate your resources, you are much more likely to participate in a dialogue with your life.  As I have often said, become the subject not the object of the sentence of your life.

It is the end of the 1st quarter, why not take a half day and review your circumstance?  If you would like, use the forms on this blog for structure.  The confidence you regain as you affirm your role in choosing your path will serve as a strong foundation to operate from.


Until next month, I wish you fulfillment

Bob