From the Bottom of the Bucket

         From Ga-Ga to Go-Go

 

Those who have been following this blog for the past two years will recognize this painting (done for me by Ms. Cynthia Hobbs).  It was my attempt to illustrate my "System" in one conceptual picture.   It is my set of Domains, and Vigor activities that fuel my chosen Roles.  They are the source of Energy that invigorates me to execute my Activity goals I set each quarter.  The concept is that as you act in these Vigor activites to transfer the vitality they contain into usable strength (Vigor), just as the warmth melts the snow and forms rushing streams. As these tributaries converge they create a current of momentum that pour over into your daily activities that equips you for the best possible outcome. 

First, it is not my goal to "brag" about my adherence to my System.  My sole purpose is to present a real life (mine) example of how this works.  I just finished my activity review and I was happy to see that I completed most of the Activities I set in June.

  Under Nature, I completed a four day backpacking trip with three buddies. Plenty of fresh air, exercise, and camaraderie.  Live music around the campfire was a bonus!!  I also led several Tai-Chi sessions.

 

  In the category of Hobbies, I read three books and attended five concerts ranging from Texas Swing, to PsychoBilly Rock, to the one of a kind Lady Ga Ga.  I also started Call of Duty on the Xbox.

 

Under Health, I was only short four workouts (against a goal of sixty) and added Pilates to my regimen. In the area Doings, my wife and I had eleven dates (out) and six hours a week on "binge" watching television series (our favorite was The Crown).  I also had weekly get togethers with my buddies, at our local watering hole , to watch games.

 

The point of all this is that living a balanced life is not as abstract as it seems.  It takes Energy to live each day with engagement.  If you don't plan and track efforts to include your Vigor activities each week, the odds are that your efforts to fill your Roles will come up short and you will be discouraged.  All it takes is an extra bit of effort to write things down.  Is it worth it to you? 



 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

Stretch Yourself...............

On my recent semi-annual visit to my neurologist, we discussed my exercise program, which includes forty minutes of cardio work and 40 minutes of strength training.   She asked what I was doing for "flexibility" and I told her I was't doing anything.   She suggested I add something to my regimine that would help my suppleness.

I have always been facinated with the practice of pilates.  It seemed to offer a structured approach to something I have always had trouble with-stretching. I had discussed the exercise last year with a friend and that motivated me to start looking.  As if by magic (fate?), a new studio opened up just two blocks from my gym, so I could add studio visits to my workout and walk to both places.

I have been going for two months now, and some wonderful things are beginning to happen, but more on that later.

 

Just what does flexibility add to your life experience?  Apparently, it is part of the growth process.  Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in their  book The Power of Full Engagement, make a strong case for paying attention to how you come to things as much as  what things you come to.  They state "Energy, not time, is the Key to High Performance and  Personal Renewal.  It is the fundamental currency of high performance."  I refer to this  as "Vigor".

 

My pilates trainer says that my exercises should cause discomfort, but not pain.  Loehr and Schwartz say "we grow at all levels by expending energy beyond our ordinary limits and then recovering."  Those statements got me thinking.  It seems they are the same thing.  When we engage in actviites that "stretch" us beyond our comfort level, but within our capabilities, we are activating flexibility's power to maximize our potential-simply put - to grow.

 

In pilates, the growth is tangible as your spine begins to elongate and your posture improves.  The range of your motion extends as your muscles loosen and relax.  You strength increases as you begin to engage core muscles that have been ignored thru compensating actions that seem easier (like using your arms to get out of a chair), but actually are more harmful.

 

In life, we often take comfortable shortcuts, there by shortchanging the opportunity to increase our mental flexibility, which in turn stifles your creative thinking to see new possibilties.  In Loehr and Scwartz's  words we do not become "Fully Engaged".

 

I recommend both the book and a review of your exercise activites.  Here is a link to their tool:

 

 

 http://www.performanceprograms.com/self-assessments/personal-development/energy-profile/

 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

beyond

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “The Unplanned Variable

”Just When you think you’ve got it down……” – Pat Benatar - Promises in the Dark

“We didn’t start the Fire, It’s been always burning since the world’s been turning….” Billy Joel – We Didn’t start the Fire

In my long career of Financial Life Coaching, I was able to see, first hand, what role human emotions play in supporting or undermining the process of making decisions.  The underlying cornerstone to Financial Life Planning is to help people discover thier conscious or unconscious emotion predispositions towards selecting a solution to the choices available ….then remind them of that process when emotions began to cloud judgment.

Even older, experienced planners recognize that the “best” solution still has a 20% “unknown” to it .  No matter how much thought goes into a solution, there are assumptions that will vary the plan.

 

How does one account in your future plans for things like the recent hurricanes?  The devastation brought on in Texas, Florida, and Peurto Rico, regardless of insurance adjustments, will alter people’s lives forever.

 

Politics aside, the world seems more at risk for disaster (man made or otherwise) than ever before.  If you let it, concentrating on these issues can truly depress you to the point of abandoning any future planning you have done.   How does one plan for global political unrest that could destroy the planet?  What about dealing with the uneasy feeling that we have “been here before”.

But we forget that pessimism is a choice and that through an effort to refocus on the positive (no matter how hard it is to find), one can return to the core foundation of his or her guiding goals. By doing so, you strengthen your focus and energy, thus improving your ability to cope and make the adjustments to your planned journey.

My point is that no one can, with 100% certainty, plan for the future.  We must expect an "unplanned" variable that will cause an adjustment to have to be made and if you have been living your life "In the Bucket" you will have the confidence and passion to execute that adjustment, returning to your core values and direction.

To coin an old phrase " Expect the unexpected" or leave a margin for the errors that are bound to occur.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          Rejuvenation

My wife and I just completed a sixteen day, grand tour of the Pacific Northwest.   Starting in Colorado, and then moving on to Oregon and Washington State.  In each of these states we built the trip around visiting friends from our “former” life in business.

 

Traveling is one of the best ways to build your Vigor. I think this is because a change of scenery forces you away from your customary points of reference and compels you to react to an unfamiliar orientation.   This, in turn,  places more emphasis on your internal intuition than you normally use.  This switch in attention alone can expose some outdated reference point that you (out of habit) continue to use in your daily life.  We all need to “shake things up” in order to affirm the validity of these instinctual references, which we use in familiar circumstances almost without thinking.

Take restaurants. At home, we all have our favorites, but away, the world is filled only with possibilities (like frozen beer in Portland !).  What about relationships?  In our daily lives, we are familiar with the patterns of interaction with those around us.  Drop yourself  into a crowd of new people and every conversation is ripe with new thinking and perspective.  This is especially true of friends who we don't see often.  We stayed with three different friends and that allowed  for  extended conversations in which I learned about new music, books, and technologies that will change how I spend the rest of the year.

In some places, the vistas alone are enough to invoke a sense of awe and the realization that your home surroundings represent just a small part of the world we live in.  Crater Lake National Park (one of our stops) took our breaths away on our first day hike. 

 

 

 There is also the ever changing show Mother Earth puts on (what about the solar eclipse? Day into night into day, in  twelve minutes !)  The second day at the national park was clouded (literally) by smoke from two “uncontrolled” forest fires that threatened to close down the park.

smoke not clouds!

What does this have to do with Living in the Bucket?  I have discussed Vigor Activities in the past.  In order to assure a robust effort in each of your Roles, you must plan undertakings that are rich with the potential for rejuvenation of your excitement and awe.  Be wary of getting into a "comfort zone" where all is familiar and easy.  This state is a trap which dulls your senses and steals your creative potential.

Take some risks, try something new (even if it feels uncomfortable) and build your Vigor in a purposeful fashion.  Then you will find what is necessary to bring your best game to the challenge of meeting the full potential of your Roles.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Role Gravity”

One of the central themes of this blog has been that if you allot your resources between the Roles you play in your life; it will lead to a balanced outcome and increase the possibility that your sense of fulfillment will heighten

But life is not always equal in its demands on your resources.  As much as we try to allocate, in a purposeful manner, the resources we have available, there are times when certain Roles require more attention than normal.   This has two effects.  First it diminished the Vigor Activities which provide the necessary fuel to fulfill your Roles and second it takes away time from the Activities associated with the other Roles. In real life, that is just a fact.  So how do you achieve balance when life pulls you out of balance?

The first step is to realize you are out of balance.  Your body will probably tell you this long before your mind notices something is amiss. That is one reason why exercise is so important; it adds strength to your body’s endurance.  Another (more analytical) way is to simply refer to your Activity Goal sheet (see below) and note any deficiencies.  The most common circumstance is when life presents you with an acute situation that must have your full attention.  In this case you must forgo Balance for a while and center yourself in the issue at hand.

One of the helpful resources at times such as these is Relationships.  Having someone that you can talk to is a tremendous help.  If you have not invested the time and energy to build a solid, intimate relationship with such people, you are going to feel the cost of that at times like these.   Stephen Covey calls these resources The Emotional Bank Account and like a real bank account, you must make deposits in order to have the ability to make withdrawals. The time for doing that is before you need to call on that resource. Hopefully you are allotting some of your Energy in building this valuable resource.

It is also meaningful to try to devote some time, no matter how small, to your other Roles so you don’t become disconnected from them.   During these moments you may find an idea that helps solve the issue at hand.  If you are working hard at being a son or daughter, try spending a bit of time as a sibling or a spouse.

Above all, you must seek the path back to the center of Balance.  It may take longer than you would like, but your course my always be heading in that direction.  This will increase your Vigor and build your confidence.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “ True Wealth”

I just finished watching the HBO production The Wizard of Lies, Barry Levinson's movie on Benrie Madoff, played by Robert DeNiro.  It is a well done movie that raises many questions on how such a deceit could have happened and most importantly, the devastation that it left on many innocent people (including his family).

 

The movie does not focus on the details of his well publicized scam, but instead on exploring the complex personality that masterminded it. Based on author Diana Henriques book of the same name, the film focuses "on the people that were closest to Madoff as they struggle to truthfully answer questions that they have no solid answers."- HBO Films

 

The most disturbing part is how the film deals with the question of motivation.  When 

billions of dollars are at stake, can one really use greed as an excuse? After all, you can only spend so much money in one lifetime.  Can financial wealth assure a solid family, good friendships and health?   How much is enough and when does one forgo the sacrifices necessary to accumulate such wealth?  Or is the pursuit of that wealth just an excuse for the lack of effort in the accumulation of the other dimensions of wealth?

Take the act of socialization.  It takes a great deal of resources to build relationships of the depth necessary to be called intimate.  A speaker recently said " You are the direct reflection of the top five people you spend time with ".  Pondering that, I had a tough time naming my five people.  Yet, we all need connections to prosper.   How purposeful are you in focusing resources  on this valuable dimension of wealth?  Your plan should have reminders to let you know when you are not meeting your Activity objectives in building your support network. 

As Robert Margetic says in his wonderful book, How to survive the Coming Retirement Storm: A Five-Step Process for Success in Volatile Times. "Life's ongoing challenge is to avoid stagnation. Interaction with others adds texture and meaning to the fabric of life.  Being around good people offsets some of the bad things in life."  Finding those "good people" and nurturing those relationships is hard work and must be constantly and purposely attended to. 

What about the process of personal evolution?  Letting go of the old and embracing the new.  This also is an uncomfortable process. Yet the new is where your future lives and to keep your options  open is an exercise in flexibility   Engaging the world as it is going to be is a much more productive exercise than reinforcing the way it used to be.

One can't help but wonder if Mr. Madoff had made such "investments"  could he have avoided the dark path he eventually went down, dragging all those close to him along.  While you may not be dealing with billions, the process is the same and the  core  concept is, as always, Balance.  

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

From the Bottom of the Bucket

Rambling thru the Realms

Being a Hawk or a Heron

As many of you know, my wife and I have created and cultivated a oriental garden at our home.  This garden just turned twenty five years old and it is a gathering place for all sorts of wildlife from the  surrounding area.

 

One of the features, other than the waterfall, is the collection of koi fish that reside in the pond.  Their colorful features as well their rapid movement are eye catchers for all observers.

 

 

This past weekend we had two visitors that showed a special interest in our garden.  The first one chose to observe from the fence.  The hawk kept watch on every movement, but treated the fish as just another item of interest.

 

 

The second one was only interested in the fish.  Over the years, the blue heron have killed several of our koi, they are instinctual fisher/hunters and they waste no time in stalking their prey.  Since fish are mostly what they eat, our pond is a potential buffet for any hungry heron that chooses to visit our urban sanctuary.





 





 What does this have to do with life planning?  As you might be aware, The System (see back issues link at the bottom of the blog) divides our Activities into Realms.



One of the main concepts is that we are at our strongest when we maintain a good balance between the Realms, which I have labeled : Private ; Professional; and Personal.  There are two ways that you can approach this.  First, The Hawk approach, which is to position yourself for the best view of all options, and passively wait for an opportunity for an associated Activity to present itself, then "swoop" down and engage. The second is the Heron approach, which is to focus exclusively on one Realm and stalk the opportunites till you are engaged, then fly off to the next Realm and repeat.

The point is that both approaches work.  Sometimes random interaction provides some of the "good stuff" of life.  Other times, you must plan out your doings to bolster a Realm that you have let slide a bit too long.

We all are tenders of our life gardens.  But, just as with real gardens, we must nurture (with purpose) that sacred space with care and vigilance.  Even when life events pull you out of balance we need Hawks and Herons to help us get back to equilibrium.  



 Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob