From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Re-Energeering”

Just because one is committed to living his or her life to the goal of being the best possible person they aspire to doesn’t mean that they won’t experience challenges along the journey.  After all, we are human and that existence involves emotions and error.  Discipline and Commitment are helpful but even the most seasoned devotee experiences times of sadness and disappointment.  What are some of the techniques that we can call upon to get back “in the zone”?

Symbiosis is a word that is used to describe the mutual arrangement between two organisms that work in harmony by complementing each other’s needs.  The one that always stands out to me is the relationship between trees and humans.  Trees produce a great deal of the oxygen we need by using the waste (carbon dioxide) from our respiration.  This is one of the many examples in Nature where this phenomenon occurs.  This basic principle is taking something that is unwanted and having it absorbed as a Resource for something positive. What if we could learn this skill?  What if we could fashion negative Energy into the building blocks to strengthen our Journey to our transient truth? 

There is a concept called reverse engineering. This process disassembles an item to see how it was assembled --- while noting possible improvement options.  It occurred to me that the same process could work in our daily lives.  We could learn how to take negative ENERGY and, by REVERSE ENGINEERING, we could turn it into something positive.  I am calling this process:  “RE-ENERGEERING”!   A good example of this is using the energy of Anger to form the basis for Perseverance. We have grown accustomed to limiting the measuring of our resources to those things we consider “positive”.  What would be our possibility if we expanded that list to include “negative” experiences?

Tony Robbins refers to this process of “reframing”.  His central theme is that one should consider an adverse experience with the question: “There must be a reason that this has happened to me….what is the lesson I am supposed to learn?”  The answers to that question provide the raw material to RE-ENERGEER the bad experience to the foundational movement back to your desired course.

My personal experience is best illustrated with my diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease.  That diagnosis provided the largest single positive movement in my life.  It took some time for me to realize it but, after pondering it for some time, it was obvious the sense of fulfillment had increased in my life.

The next time you are tempted to feel down about something try Tony’s little exercise.  Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have (and trying to get it), but rather what opportunities does your perceived shortage offer?

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          “Patience Grasshopper”

One of my favorite television shows when I was a young man was “Kung Fu”  starring David Carradine,has Kwai Chang Kane, a Shaolin monk, whose many experiences always counseled patience.  Tis characteristic was continually reinforced in Kane’s early training by his teacher, Master Po.  Each week, Kane would be confronted with a dilemma, which challenged his nonviolent training with a circumstance that seemed to call for quick, if sometimes, violent action.  In thinking back about the influence that had on me, I feel it was that show that led me to my practice of Tai Chi. Which I still use to train myself to slow down.

As I have crossed The Path of Life, one of the lessons I have learned is to make mistakes slowly.  I also have learned to give more attention to the way I feel than I used to.  In today’s rational world, we are all prone to consider “only the facts”.  As you gain experience, you realize “facts” are highly subjective and influenced by personal biases.  As Dr. Carl Hammerschlag says “The heart knows things the mind never thought of”.

So why is it that we are in such a hurry?  What is driving this mania towards The Future?  Materialism is rampant in America and the pursuit of Happiness is not getting any easier.  Do we really need all the “stuff” we have?   Should we ignore what is in front of us now, for the possibility of what might be in the future?

 

Master Po (who was blind-get it?), would often counsel Kane to have patience and The Way would become clear. A tough lesson for type “A”s, who always seem to equate action with accomplishment.  The point is, if you stop to consider how you are managing your resources, the chances for a successful outcome may improve.

The New Year is upon us.  Traditionally this is the time that we pause to reflect on what we have achieved and how we will allocate our resources for the next year. Why not take some time out to consider the big picture, before running head first into your future?

 I would again invite you to visit the exercises at the bottom of this blog (The System) as a structured approach to considering these issues.   If you do so with Patience, perhaps your way will become clearer!

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

It Starts with “No”

I always cringe when someone predicates a remark with the phrase “I have to……”  It is as though they see themselves as some type of automaton, preprogrammed for behavior over which they have no control.

What’s worse is that our culture seems to have turned such attitude into a competition, where one person tries to “out busy” the other!  Many times I have witnessed conversations where the participants recite a litany of chores and duties that must be completed before the day is done.

If you have reviewed any of The System (see below), then you know I am an advocate of time management.  This is because no one can really calculate how much time on this earth they have left.  We can delude ourselves with the comfortable view that our lives are a linear experience.  Real life seems not to conform to such perceptions. Each day’s events present twists and turns from what we expected and a reaction is called for.

In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl says that the only true freedom that a human has is the instant between stimulus and response.  As he recounts his experiences in a German concentration camp, he explains that one always has a choice in response to a stimulus.  In some cases (as Frankle’s) the choice could have dire consequences (like execution), but still the response was a made choice.

How much more empowering would it be to change the phrase “I have to….” to the phrase “I choose to”? By reinforcing your ability to choose, you take full responsibility for your actions, or as Steven Covey says you are response-able.

It is easier than you think to make consistent choices if you have prioritized your Activities and Roles. The stimulus either supports them or it doesn’t.  If it does, apply your resources to it.  If it doesn’t, take a moment to consider if your Goals need adjusting, if not, then just say “no”!

I am amazed at how this exercise has simplified my life.  First, by narrowing the scope of my activities, I have more resources to do a better job of the ones that remain.  My favorite benefit is I have the time to arrive at my activities fifteen minutes early, which allows me to focus on being present.  Many people never have this experience because they are always behind schedule, or “on their way” to something else.  I can tell you it is a game changer.

Second, by avoiding many “Vigor depletion” actions, I am reaffirming my course and direction, which gives me more confidence. It is a bit uncomfortable at first, but with practice and effort you can make these two simple adjustments habits. For now, I choose to say no to mediocrity.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          Into The Woods

October brings one off my favorite rituals, the return to Mother Earth for renewal.

This annual journey has taken many paths over the past twenty plus years, but always with the same intent: strengthen my body and soul and replenish my bond of friendship with those people who share the same reverence for the great outdoors and all that it represents.  I have been in most of the national parks and they are awe inspiring, but my spirit always returns to Kentucky’s Red River Gorge, a place of limitless inspiration.

There are normally four trips, two in the spring and two in the fall.   Each of these trips is accompanied by different friends.   This year’s fall trips were no exception.   The first trip was an “expedition” level trip, which is “off trail” (not a marked or maintained trial).  This approach requires you carry all you will need for three days on your back, as well as navigate with map, compass and GPS.

 

 

I took the trip with my longtime friend Greg Smith and Mother Nature added to the challenge with mid eighty temperatures on day one and a twelve hour rain on day two.  I learned a great deal about what my capabilities are and the limits that come with them.

 

The second trip was a “basecamp” trip (we call it car camping) where we set up in a campground and day hike.  The luxury of a cooler (with real food) a stove, water and cut wood allow us to focus our energy on the experience rather than the trek. 

 

I took a newbie with me, Rodney New (no pun intended) and savored the enjoyment of sharing my favorite spots, while he taught me how to cook pork chops on a Coleman stove, and yes some Kentucky bourbon was sipped to the sounds of Rodney’s guitar music around the campfire.

 

I am often asked why I would do such things.  I often smile to myself, thinking how can I answer such a question?  Well, I am going to try.  First, we live in a world of comfort that is all too easy to take for granted; Running water, hot upon demand, food easily available, packaged and ready to cook on appliances that work with the flip of a switch.  Warm rooms, heated (or cooled) effortlessly by a thermostat, soft beds, covered in sumptuous bedding. Yet, we take these items for granted barely giving thought to the Vigor they free up to be applied to our other Roles.  A few days in the woods, brings your appreciation back to where it should always be and reminds you that you need to be purposeful in how you use the liberated Vigor.

I am not a religious man, but I am deeply spiritual.  Watching a sunset in the backcountry is one of the best ways I know of to remind myself of the “big picture”.  Just feeling the profound silence of the vastness is enough to renew your balance and sense of place in the universe.  To have such a moment, one must remove all the distractions that our civilized life affords; cell phones, television, automobiles, computers and all the other “plugged in” comforts each undermine the stillness of your core and produce static that inhibits the messages of your heart.

 

Finally, there is no better way to enhance the depth of a friendship than to spend three straight days with someone under the spell of The Great Mother Earth.  When the time comes for you to call on the resource of Friends, there will be a rich supply because of your efforts to strengthen your relationships.

Now that is true wealth!

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          Into The Woods

October brings one off my favorite rituals, the return to Mother Earth for renewal.

This annual journey has taken many paths over the past twenty plus years, but always with the same intent: strengthen my body and soul and replenish my bond of friendship with those people who share the same reverence for the great outdoors and all that it represents.  I have been in most of the national parks and they are awe inspiring, but my spirit always returns to Kentucky’s Red River Gorge, a place of limitless inspiration.

There are normally four trips, two in the spring and two in the fall.   Each of these trips is accompanied by different friends.   This year’s fall trips were no exception.   The first trip was an “expedition” level trip, which is “off trail” (not a marked or maintained trial).  This approach requires you carry all you will need for three days on your back, as well as navigate with map, compass and GPS.

 

 

I took the trip with my longtime friend Greg Smith and Mother Nature added to the challenge with mid eighty temperatures on day one and a twelve hour rain on day two.  I learned a great deal about what my capabilities are and the limits that come with them.

 

The second trip was a “basecamp” trip (we call it car camping) where we set up in a campground and day hike.  The luxury of a cooler (with real food) a stove, water and cut wood allow us to focus our energy on the experience rather than the trek. 

 

I took a newbie with me, Rodney New (no pun intended) and savored the enjoyment of sharing my favorite spots, while he taught me how to cook pork chops on a Coleman stove, and yes some Kentucky bourbon was sipped to the sounds of Rodney’s guitar music around the campfire.

 

I am often asked why I would do such things.  I often smile to myself, thinking how can I answer such a question?  Well, I am going to try.  First, we live in a world of comfort that is all too easy to take for granted; Running water, hot upon demand, food easily available, packaged and ready to cook on appliances that work with the flip of a switch.  Warm rooms, heated (or cooled) effortlessly by a thermostat, soft beds, covered in sumptuous bedding. Yet, we take these items for granted barely giving thought to the Vigor they free up to be applied to our other Roles.  A few days in the woods, brings your appreciation back to where it should always be and reminds you that you need to be purposeful in how you use the liberated Vigor.

I am not a religious man, but I am deeply spiritual.  Watching a sunset in the backcountry is one of the best ways I know of to remind myself of the “big picture”.  Just feeling the profound silence of the vastness is enough to renew your balance and sense of place in the universe.  To have such a moment, one must remove all the distractions that our civilized life affords; cell phones, television, automobiles, computers and all the other “plugged in” comforts each undermine the stillness of your core and produce static that inhibits the messages of your heart.

 

Finally, there is no better way to enhance the depth of a friendship than to spend three straight days with someone under the spell of The Great Mother Earth.  When the time comes for you to call on the resource of Friends, there will be a rich supply because of your efforts to strengthen your relationships.

Now that is true wealth!

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

          Good Bye Mama Rama

In previous columns, I have talked about Roles and how they shape our lives.  I want to expand a bit on that concept and introduce a new dimension.  In their book, “ Claiming  your place at the fire”, Richard Leider and David Shapiro introduce the concept of Elders.  These are people of experience that choose the “teacher” approach to their Roles.  Based on the tribal concepts of Rituals, they pass on the culture of the community through ceremonies that have life lessons embedded in them.

When I married my wife, thirty six years ago, I became part of her family.  The Elders of that family, were Mary and Mack Rama.   Mack passed away several years ago and Mary, his widow, left us three short months ago.  Both elected to be cremated and Mack’s ashes have resided with us awaiting the reunion with his wife.

My wife and I now find ourselves rotating to the Elder level in many of our Roles.   With that in mind, we called a family reunion for the purpose of reuniting Mary and Mac and allowing each family member to participate in the Ritual of “returning dust to dust.” We chose a lake that had been a favorite spot for the two of them and built the weekend around the Native American Ritual of the Fire Circle.

 

Most of the younger members are in their early twenties and are still learning their tribal Roles, but I am sure that the mystical occurrences did much to awaken a sense of awe.  First, there was a pair of bald eagles that were with us all weekend.  Then the shifting winds played music through the pines that covered our camp.   There also was the double rainbow that appeared after a brief shower.  Random coincidences or signs from beyond?  Each person was allowed the time to consider their opinion.

 

Both Mary and Mack (which my wife named the eagles) came from humble beginnings, he from an orphanage and she from a dairy farm.  Yet, without any head starts, they grew into local legends for their willingness to help others and teach values to their tribe. Both funerals were well attended, a testimony to the Elder legacy they left.  The grandkids (I call Gen2) ran the ceremony and it was inspirational to say the least.

 

People’s behavior speaks volumes about their values and how one prioritizes his or her activities is a real time demonstration of their character.   We are in critical need of example setters for our younger tribal members.  This work will take time and effort on The Elder’s part and some attention on the youth’s end, but it should prove worthwhile to both parties.

When you are younger, your Legacy seems like an abstract.  But in reality, you are already working on your reputation, which in the end, will be one of your most treasured and lasting assets.  Make each day count, stay in integrity and look for opportunities to tutor.

 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

September  2016

          “I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

          I just Love to watch them roll…….”   John Lennon

 

As I write this first blog, I am entering my ninth month as “retired”.  I have always been fascinated with that word.  It is a child of the Industrial Revolution and is an evolvement from the creation of Social Security and company pension plans. 

Madison Avenue and Wall Street have always portrayed this period as one of leisure, care-free time spent with loving family and friends.  You know the spin; we still see commercials, even today.  My experience is that the real thing is much different.

When you enter the workforce you agree to exchange your time and vigor for an income and benefits.  Over the years we have watched corporate America, whittle the benefits portion down.  When you no longer need to participate in such an arrangement, you have become financially independent.  This may or may not involve “retirement”.  The thing is, since we are such poor savers, most of us are older when (or if) that occurs, but not always (think Bill Gates, etc.).The point is that retirement is not just for “old people”. 

I look at “retirement” planning as making a choice to change your life’s focus to a more self-directed experience.  I also think that process starts the day you enter the workforce.  The key is you take ownership of what you can control until you have reached the point where you control as much as possible in your life.   That will take resources; the most important are: Health, Time and Financial, in that order. So the first order of business is to prioritize your use of those resources and make daily choices that support the Goals (see The System below) that you have set for yourself.

Circles are a prominent geometric symbol in almost every culture.  The distinguishing characteristic is the figure has no beginning and  thus no end. To quote John Lennon “they just go round and round”.  Why is it that our brains insist on seeing life as a linear event when real experience shows us otherwise?  Many of the illustrations referred to in this blog are circles.  That is because real life always involves continuous beginnings and ends across the full span of life’s experience.

When I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, I thought it was the end of my life plan.  It turns out it was the beginning.  It forced me to “walk the walk” and take action.  That process led me to realize that I had no bucket list and that recognition was a huge source of solace to me.  I was unclear what the future held for me, but I was ready to face it with confidence and since I had lived “in the bucket” I had a rich balance of resources to support my efforts to move forward.

Now, five years later, I find that my health has improved, my Parkinson’s has not progressed and I am able to invest more Vigor in my other Roles more than ever before.  I also passed on my successful planning practice to a qualified advisor, who is taking the services provided to our clients to a new level.  We have only had one client leave us. So I met my promises and kept my respectability.

I have often said we are one moment away from having our supposed life plan altered, sometimes radically.  Are you making sure that you are ready for that moment?  If not, why?

Or perhaps you will be lucky enough to “just sit and watch the wheels (circles) go round and round”, but I assure you that day will never come if you don’t prepare for it.

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob