From the Bottom of the Bucket

Reclamation

“Each time I find myself lying flat on my face, I pick myself up and get back in then race  ” – That's Life - Frank Sinatra 

First I would like to thank  many of you that shared the sense of loss over the fish incident.  It seems they were victims of a forty five degree temperature swing (63 degrees in February!) An unfortunate, but natural calamity. Those of you who have visited our home and Japanese garden, know those fish were the soul of the spirituality of what we liked to call "The Sanctuary".  They will never be replaced, but can be restored. I wanted to share some of my "framing" of this concept.

I have mentioned many times that it seems one of the secrets to fulfillment is how you react to an event, rather than experiencing the event itself.  The Human response to loss is to grieve, but that process should not be allowed to take hold.  Instead it should be replaced with a desire to recover to a commitment to revise the situation to a different level.  Nothing lives forever, perhaps the sudden departure of our finny friends was to remind us that we must reclaim the original spirit of the pond in some new form, thus reinfusing the Energy to a new level.

That's when I saw the experience in a whole different light, renewal.   By Reframing in this context, we were accepting the challenge of renovating the whole garden, paying homage to it's history, while adding some new dimensions to renew the sprit of the original concept.  In fact, the Spirit of the Garden demanded it

Is this process easy?  I can say definitively -NO.  It is much easier to feel grief and disappointment than to forge an attitude of opportunity.  BUT, it is this ability that keeps us moving forward with our lives and not accept anything as a defeat, but merely a setback on our Journey to living a meaningful life,  which, to me, is The Ultimate End Game.


Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

Living with Loss (Part  2)

“Chang is the Biological Imperative of the Universe  ” – Steven Covey

This month's post is linked to one I wrote a year ago.  The first sentence read:

“First of all, I don’t have cancer”

Well, I got that one wrong!  My battle with melanoma continues, but the signs are I am improving.  This morning I got a not to subtle reminder of how fragile Life is and why it is so important to enjoy things while you can .

I have written in this column about the Japanese garden my wife and I have built over the last twenty five years.  It is the soul of our house and has been a place of contemplation,  The central item of the garden is the koi pond, which provides a sense of living serenity.  

 

This morning, when were leaving the house for the gym, we found all the fish floating dead in the pond.  What happened?  We do not know. We only know that our spirit animals decided to leave this dimension and go to the great koi pond in the sky.   Some of the fish were over twenty years old. Some were over two feet long.  In a moment, all that life gone....we will never see the pond with such fish again.  Such a tragedy. 

 

 

 

Yet, the garden is still there, we still have our place and it is up to us to replace the lost energy.  Death is part of life and we must accept it and move on.  There is no remedy for the sense of loss, only time will tell what will replace this treasure.  I am sad for our loss, but grateful for their final gift-the reminder that all things are fragile and we should treat all our interactions with that attitude, for you never know.................  

   

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob

 

 

 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?” -Joni Mitchell

Are You acCOUNTable?

The beginning of the new year is ripe with possibilities.  Anything is possible!  Build on last year's successes and forget about last year's failures.  Explore "brave new worlds" (more on that later). But wait, do you even know the date?  How about what you are doing tomorrow?  Who is driving this train anyhow?

In my career as a Financial Life Planner, it was incredible to see, over and over, that regardless of how wealthy, intelligent and successful people were, how out of touch they were with basic information concerning their circumstances.  Many times the biggest service we provided was collecting, aggregating and reporting basic data, so that people could bring their conception of reality in line with the actual reality.

If you intend to  take charge of your life, it is very helpful to see where you have come from. In financial planning that involves listing and valuing your assets and liabilities, as  well as detailing your income and expenses.  In life planning, it involves an inspection of you calendar to see how you allocated your time and energy. Complicated? Not really.  Easy?  Definitely not!   Think of it as stepping on your Fulfillment scale.  What is your weight? Is it more or less than last year?  Are you above or below your "ideal" number? It is my belief that the Purposeful Person keeps score on his or her efforts.  Since this information is an important part of deciding what paths to take in the future, it is almost impossible to plan ahead without it.

If it is so important, why don't more people do it?  I think there are several answers.  First, it's a lot of work. Organizing and recording the data takes time and most people are unwilling to devote the energy.  Another, probably prevalent, reason is that people don't want to validate their mistakes.  They already know the answers in their heart, so why reinforce it with data? 

Let me use a personal example.  Most of you know that I am wrangling with two medical conditions, Parkinson's and Melanoma. All of my medical advisors have encouraged me to continue my exercise program, to assist my body in it's efforts.  How do I know that I am doing that?  I keep a tally sheet.  Here it is for 2018 :

 

Now, I can evaluate what my plans for this year will be, do I need to cut back on my aerobics (over goal) and allocate that Vigor to Pilates (under goal)? Am I satisfied with my strength training (two years at 133) or do I need to revise my goal downward?

Before I appear to be promoting myself, I would like to quote William Shatner (told you I would get back to it). In his new book "Live Long and....." he says:

"I wanted to say to them, “Listen to me. I’ve got something important to tell you,” but instead I learned how to parcel it out. You have to do it slowly, meal by meal, whether it is a banquet or fast food. You have to take advantage of every opportunity and not force it on anyone. While to me my experience may seem like the most important piece of advice anyone has ever given, to a young person it probably is less important than the last text from a friend about who’s hanging at the mall. I had to learn not to take myself, or my profound wisdom, too seriously:

Having made a case for asking you to set aside time to start the new year of purposefully, I temper it with Mr. Shatner's remarks.  If you agree with the  advice, divide your sessions into two categories The first, devoted to tallying 2108 metrics (you pick what is important) and the second to setting measurable goals for 2019.  Then put things into action and for  heaven sakes, keep score! 



 

Here's to your prosperous and fulfilling 2019!

 

Bob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

 

Bob

From the Bottom of the Bucket

Return from the Forest (Part 2)

This month's post is a companion post to last month's chronicle of The 2018 Fall Fire Circle.  The post describes the event in detail.   This month I would like to add some thoughts about Living in the Bucket and finish the year with some comments.

This blog was started with the purpose of providing a simple, defined structure for organizing your life for optimal satisfaction.  I spent a whole career gathering the steps outlined in what I call "The System", which is detailed in this blog's archives, or emailed to those who request it.

I am not claiming to be  a guru.   In fact, I am trying to "pay forward" all of the help I have been given in my seventy years on this earth.  But there is a personal reason as well.  Trying to stay intellectually involved after retirement takes effort.  It is all to easy to slip into a lifestyle that asks nothing from you and is characterized as leisure but, in fact, looks more like decay.

At the center of this approach is the  concept of Activities.   We can observe what is important to a person (What do I stand for?) by watching how they expend their resources (money, time, vigor, etc).  To be purposeful about such Activities, is to improve the probability of being  satisfied with the outcome.  Defining them provides a real time reading to determine if you are "walking the talk" (accountability).

We all seem to use the excuse "I haven't the time to.....", when, really, it appears that it just isn't a priority.  That's ok, you should just be clear what and why your real priorities are.

This  process is easier when you remove distractions from the event. One of the best ways I know of to do this is to get out into nature.   The ever moving motion of Nature, provides the perfect opportunity to affirm your direction in a dynamic world.  This is what Iearned when I adapted to my injury and the rainstorm on the hike.

As we draw the year to a close, I can say that I (mostly) stayed my course through the distractions that were handed to me.  During the three weeks where I thought my death was near, I found peace in the knowledge that I had indeed "walked the talk".  Now that I have been given the gift of more time, I have doubled my determination to keep learning, defining my Roles, and taking the right paths.

To that  end, my wife and I are shaking up family tradition by spending Christmas in Barbados and New Years in Antigua. Totally foreign environments that will force us to define how we see these holidays.  When we return, we will have a fresh perspective and ready for our 2019 Planning Retreat, the cornerstone to identifying what you stand for and how you intend to organize your resources for the satisfaction of who you are. 

Until next time, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob 

From the Bottom of the Bucket

Return to the Forest (Part 1)

"Contact with Nature is as vital to our well being as regular exercise and a healthy diet"

      Forest Bathing-Dr. Qing Li

 

Each year I wind up my annual hiking activities with a three day backpacking trip in mid-November. I pick this time because of the beautiful color of the trees and the slight chill in the air that speaks of the approaching winter. Last year I was forced to skip a year because of medical issues, which still persist today. This year I set my sights on returning to the woods in a new style. The trail I chose was in The Danial Boone National Forest, a two million acre preserve that runs from Tennessee to Virginia. I also chose an unmarked trail for reasons I will explain later. In early October, the trip was in jeopardy due to a sore hip muscle, which carried an additional distraction of lower back pain, at times acute sciatica, possibly related to the spread of my Parkinson’s. So this journey was facing more than the normal challenges.

As part of my Activities in my Roles (under intellectual stimulation) I took an online course in back country navigation, to refresh my routing skills and learn the latest in map technology.  I practiced with my phone and GPS in local woods.  I focused these skills on a downloaded, custom gridded map of the trail we were going to take, the Cane Creek Valley to Van Hook Falls.

 

 After several months a preparation we gathered at my house to coordinate our gear and get on our way. Everything we needed to survive three days had to be loaded and carried in three back packs.

 

This process requires thought as you vizuliaze the journey.  Food, water, first-aid kit (and a modest amount of Kentucky bourbon) all have to be collected, distributed, trying to keep the weight at around forty pounds per pack, because, after all, you will be carrying it on the trail. After comparing notes, one last look at the weather (severe rainstorm forcast for Day 1) we loaded up and were ready to start our adventure.

 

 

 

Plan, Organize, Execute

 

I have mentioned this simple sequence for managing your life before.  The planning stage, took over two months and much discussion about fitness requirements, changing variables, and desired outcomes.  We had to itemize the necessary gear and equally share the challenge of carrying it on the trail.  The first two parts were complete, now all we had to do was execute our plan.

 

In real life, plans seldom go as projected.  Back country hiking is the same way.  Perhaps that is what draws me to it, it is a metaphor for life.  While planning increases the likeliness of a satisfactory outcome, it is almost certain there will be an unanticipated variable that will alter the original plan.  It is your reaction to these  changes that will define the outcome.  As we shall see, that was the case on this trip. 





 

I mentioned that my physical condition was a factor in skipping last year's excursion.  In  addition to the spasms caused by my Parkinson's, I had spent the past seven months receiving immunotherapy infusions for my cancer.  The, in September, I had an acute pull of muscles in my right hip that also caused pain in my lower back.  Still, I was  determined to participate in my annual Fall pilgrimage to the mountains of eastern Kentucky.  I set up a training program that consisted of strength training, day hiking in a  local woods and treadmill walks with my pack, filled with thirty five pound weights.  All the while, nursing my pulled muscle with a combination of Pilates stretching, massage and reduced workout regimen. On the morning of  our departure, I seemed to have myself in a manageable, but not ideal, condition for the hike.

We made the two hour trip without incident, loaded up at the trailhead and began the decent into Cane Creek Valley.  After about a hundred yards, due to the slick conditions of the wet leaves on the trail, I slipped  and fell, wrenching my back in the process.  I seemed uninjured, but as we continued it was apparent that I was favoring my left hip, causing me to list and keeping me from centering the weight of the pack.  Eventually the pain caused me to realize I would be unable to continue.

Because of  my research, I knew the intended campsite could not be far.  I sent the youngest (and strongest) member of our group to scout ahead and thankfully the site was only a few  hundred yards ahead.  He shuttled both of our packs to the site and we settled down to the chore of setting up camp.  After two hours, we  had completed  the task.

 

We settled in for happy hour and waited for the storm that was predicted for that evening.  Instead, we were treated to a  mild evening and went to bed around midnight.  Around one thirty am, rain began to plop on the tent, and soon a torrential downpour began.  It would last for six hours and drop 2.5 inches of rain on us.  But we were snug in our sleeping bags and dry in our tents.

 

The next morning, we arose to clear skies and a creek that had risen about three feet.  The creek trickle from yesterday was a torrent of rushing water.  We ate a hearty breakfast and  set out to hike to the falls, which was  about a mile down the trail.  My hip was much improved (bourbon is a wonderful medicine!) and we made good time until we came to a spot where the trail crossed Caney Creek.  Basically the swift current and the depth of the water made crossing a risky proposition.  After thirteen minutes our quest to visit Van Hook Falls was halted.  After considering the options, we decided to return to camp and soak in the leisure of a beautiful fall day. We finished up with a hearty meal of beef stroganoff and a blazing campfire that lasted well past midnight.  Everyone agreed that our day of tree bathing had been an unplanned but enjoyable experience.     

 

The next morning , we broke camp and after a full day of rest, my hip pain was all but gone.  We made the hike out in half the time that it took to hike in.  I finished strong and we departed with the tired glow that only comes from hiking for three days in the woods.

 

What lessons were learned?  What does this journey have to do with Living in the Bucket?  You will have to wait till next month and read Part 2. 

Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.

Bob