From
the Bottom of the Bucket
Walking
the Talk……
“These are the times
that try men’s souls” – Thomas Paine
I have always
believed that some structure should be in place to help one live a fulfilling life. In my career, I embraced Life Planning as a
methodology to help people define and act on their real life goals. After I transitioned into a scaled down
lifestyle, I started this blog with the idea I could continue to provide some
inspiration to anyone who might use it.
My way of “paying it forward".
But be
careful what you advocate for, because your resolve may be tested! Its one thing to promote an ideology, but it
can be quite another thing to act it out in the strong winds of adversity. We all have had are “faith” tested and have
all experienced the sobering feeling of failure and the confidence of success.
My first big
personal test came when I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I had no idea what to
expect going forward, but the words that stuck in my mind were “incurable” and “degenerative”.
My struggle to come to terms with my condition gave birth to the concept of Living in the Bucket. Now, five years later, my tremor has remained
the same and I have yet to take any of the serious meds for the disease. One battle that I seem to be winning.
This brings
me to this past holiday season. At my
annual physical, my PSA blood test jumped 35%.
My doctor had been after me to have a prostate biopsy done for the past several
years, as the tests showed elevated levels.
I relented and agreed to have the procedure, leery of the process, since
my Father had passed away from prostate cancer.
On December
22nd, three days prior to the scheduled procedure, I came down with
the worst case of flu of have ever had,
The first five days I was so sick, I could not get out of bed. For the following ten days, I wondered around
the house in a fog, constantly
coughing. Then my wife came down with
it and only now is starting to feel normal.
All of this caused us to alter our original holiday plans.
My wife (not yet afflicted) held our
traditional Christmas dinner, but I just barely made it to the table, stayed
for the blessing and retreated back to bed.
Later, surgical mask in place, I returned for a brief participation in
the opening of presents, but had to go back to bed. My surgery was cancelled
and we basically missed the whole holiday season. We both were disappointed that we missed our biggest family tradition, but tried to place in the context of Living in the Bucket.....it was easier said than done. When you are challenged physically, it drains the Energy you need mentally, and with no access to Vigor, pessimism finds fertile ground. I began to have self doubt.
Until next month, I wish you fulfillment.
Bob
Bob
